Evidence Number 2

Okay, so I know it's been a while since my last post.  No, that doesn't mean that common sense has been revived.  It just means I've been too busy dealing with being busy because someone killed common sense which makes our lives busy!  Anyway, I'm back with the second piece of evidence.

Interestingly enough, this is another consumerism ploy that utilizes a crappy device that automatically dispensing a gooey mess as well.  The culprit?  The automatic toothpaste dispenser!

Explain to me, please, why in our society we need to pay money for a contraption that makes our lives more convenient for literally a second or less.  I understand that convenience is important to our culture, and I'm all for modern technology that makes our everyday chores that much more tolerable.  But HONESTLY people, toothpaste?  Is that really the first place your minds went to when you wanted to offer us a product to relieve some form of struggle in our lives?  I don't know about everyone else, but when I go to squeeze toothpaste out of the tube, I find it to be pretty much the easiest thing I have to do all day that actually requires movement.  Toothpaste is soft, the tube is pliable, the cap either screws on and off or just pops open; it's pretty much the simplest thing ever.  Apparently I need to go out the the store and buy an expensive piece of crappy plastic that suction-cups to my wall to do this for me though, because if I don't, I may develop some form of arthritis in my wrist or thumb apparently.

I can't quite figure out if this is a ploy at our need for everything to be automatic in our lives or if modern people have really gotten that lazy.  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, but, but common sense guy, we NEED this tool.  We need it to keep our sinks mess free, our hands goop free, our tubes waste free.  And it ALWAYS dispense the PERFECT amount.

Right... If you can't put toothpaste on the brush without getting some on the sink, 1) you have bigger issues than needing a toothpaste dispenser, 2) hold it over the bowl of the sink and wash it down for a quick "problem solved" kind of day that doesn't cost 20 bucks, and 3) you think that tiny smear of blue that you "lose" in a regular tube adds up to 20 bucks before the junky thing breaks and you have to buy a new one? Seriously...  And heaven forbid you get slightly too little or slightly too much paste on the brush.  Why, your teeth will probably explode unless your robotic friend gives you the EXACT RIGHT AMOUNT EVERY STINKING TIME!  Yeah, doesn't really float my boat either...

So, imagine this quaint little scene if you will... A husband and wife are getting reedy for bed.  The wife is about to brush her teeth.  The husband realized this while trying to step around her to his side of the sink.  The following conversation then occurs...

"Hey hon, can you put toothpaste on my toothbrush and hand it to me?"

"NO!  I just got done doing MY toothbrush, and I am freakin' worn out!  It's not easy to squeeze that little pea-sized pebble of paste onto these bristles without straining something you know!  I've trained for years to develop the thumb muscles necessary to achieve this great feat of athletic prowess!  Work on your own toothbrush!"

Do you, like me, think this exchange sounds ridiculous?  Good... SO WHY DO I  NEED SOME EXPENSIVE PEICE OF BATTERY-OPERATED JUNK TO DO THIS FOR ME?  Oh common sense, how we wish you were here to set these people straight... We are grieving your passing daily.

The Crime Scene Discovered

I've discovered a crime scene!  It's right under our noses!  Call the police!!!

What crime scene you ask?  The murder scene!  The scene where common sense has been brutally eliminated from our society.  What mindless maniac could possibly bring themselves to do this to something so wholesome as beautiful commons sense?  The only way to discover the perpetrator is to follow the evidence.  Let's explore, investigate, and put the clues together until we search out the culprit.

Exhibit A: Mindless Consumerism

It never ceases to amaze me the level of crud we can be convinced of when dangerous sounding words or horrible, and completely unconfirmed, statistics are put into a commercial for another piece of expensive junk that none of us needs.  Case in point, and clue number 1 of our murder, I present to you the motion-activated, touch-less, soft soap dispenser.

A seemingly helpful and innocent instrument, supposedly made for home convenience and hygiene.  In truth, just another piece of junk that doesn't really help in any way.  The selling point for this device is that soap pumps become dirty and covered in nasty, scary germs and bacteria that get on your hands when you touch them.  With this device you will supposedly never have to worry about those nasty germs again.  Yeah...

I'm calling this one a bunch of nonsense.  It's just one jab of the knife right through the lower spine of good ol' common sense.  Let me break this down logically...

So, you don't want to touch a soap pump because it might be dirty and full of germs.  Fair enough... Remind me again why you're washing your hands?  Oh that's right... Because your hands are DIRTY AND COVERED WITH GERMS that can make you sick, and soap is a magical substance that REMOVES DIRT AND KILLS GERMS AND BACTERIA!  So basically, it doesn't matter if you touch the soap pump BEFORE you wash your hands (which is when you'd be getting soap), because whatever germs, that may or may not be on the pump, you might get on you hands will subsequently be washed off and killed in the washing process... BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SOAP DOES!

I have an idea.  How about we find a way to keep germs on the handle of the faucet from getting on our hands after we're done washing them?  Doesn't that seem like a much easier way for cross-contamination to occur, AFTER the soap is done removing germs?  Just a thought friends...

So, next time you're tempted to buy a device that claims to be saving your life from something that never really seemed to be killing us in the first place, think to yourself: Is this another crime scene in the case of the death of common sense?  In the realm of consumerism-manipulating companies, it just might be...

Stay tuned for further exploration of the crime scene...